kaidensmommy

Where are the men that care about just one woman? Why cant i find just one fuckin guy that looks at me and adores me instead of other women. Do they even fuckin exist? not in my mind they dont it hurts me to know that my so called fiancee told another woman that he doesnt want to marry me but he could see him and this other girl getting married. Or that he said that shes hotter than me and the only thing i got going for me is my ass. what is the point of even bothering with me if your not attracted to me. they say im a whore because i have 3 kids by three different men. ill never get married again they all ask and never come through i start to plan it and they walk out on me. Whats so wrong with me that they do this to me? Am i really that bad of a person? ill never walk down the isle in a white gown my dream. Ive always had that dream i was married once and divorced. Why is it im the cause of all mens problems. im a pain in thier asses. what is wrong with me. I need help i guess thats what they all say because i try to talk to them about whats going on and they do nothing but ignore me. My fault for trying to have a convorsation or trying to sit down and watch a movie with them. Im sorry. Im a looser and i know it. And im sure im bothering anyone that reads this with my problems and im sorry again. what is life without love not a life at all. i am crazy in love with this guy and he dont show me that he loves me its impossible for him i guess. Im not good enough ive never cheated on a man in my life never but i seem to be the one that always gets the downfall in the end. If you would like to read the convorsation between them let me know and i will post it. You can give me your opinion on it. Is he leading me on and really in love with this girl or does he love me and want to be with me. I feel like hes leading me on he says yeah i love you and want to be with you but idk what to think about it and feel. i need to stop feeling anymore. Wheres my soulmate? Is it him or do i need to stop looking?

its all my fault.. Im sorry everything is my fault. IDK why but it always is. I got raped by a woman and its my fault too i guess im just a failure at everything i do. its my life forever to be a failure at everything. I guess im not who i used to be from what people say they dont know who i am anymore. My depression is getting more severe and so is my ptsd. what do i need to do to make my life right again. I have found god and i feel like im failing him too. where am i supposed to go with my life? i still cant find work. My kids wont have a christmas this year because of me. Im a looser and a failure. why me please tell me why me. idk what to do anymore i wish i had my ged so i could at least go to college. I want to be home with my babies all the time but i guess its time to grow up and think about what im doing to them. If i find a job maybe then i will be able to do things. maybe then i will be able to afford a christmas for them. I was too late for toys for tots this year so thats my fault too. Im about ready to end my life but i go on for my boys. Im in love with a guy but i dont think he is in love with me. we are engaged to be married but he scoots away from the thought of marrying me. I guess im not worth a mans time. they always say they love me and then leave me. i guess god didnt intend for me to be with a man. i will always be alone and thats the cold hard truth for me.

Well i guess its all ok im not really sure.. My fiancee is talking about moving back to missouri without me so i guess its going to be me and the kids against the world all over again!! I hate being alone for once in my life cant i find a man that will do sweet things for me and that will love me for who i am.. Gosh what do i have to do to make him love me what hoops do i have to jump thru to make him not leave me. Im tired of crying sick of wondering when he is going to leave me.

Thats elijah Alexander Sparks and the second one is him and his daddy. They are two peas in a pod lately. Steven loves his boys lol.

My newest addition to my family was born recently. He was born May 28th weighing 7Ibs 2Oz and 20 1/4in long. I will post pics as soon as i can. ive been very busy with all 3 of my boys. I was just recently in teh hospital with Elijah from thursday the 11th to sunday. He has a bacterial infection and a Urinary Tract infection. Hes beautiful though he looks just like me. Well im off to feed him again hes awake.

Its a boy... That makes 3 lol.. hope everyone is well... I will post pics as soon as i can take pics of the ultrasound

Well i guess life is ok. Im 21 weeks and 3 days pregnant i find out the sex of the baby on Tuesday the 27th. My life is going kinda wierd at the moment. I got a playstation for my bf and he lets the kids play all day when i told him to limit the time on it. He lets his son play fighting games when i dont approve of them at all when he doesnt even need to be playing them and my son watching them. He wonders why my son hits its from watching those damn violent games. Those games are not for children and he inssists on leting them play them. Anyways. Ill try to talk to everyoen later. I dont know how much more longer this relationship is going to last when my son may reject him because he spanked him like jerry did. so anyways im gone.

 

Well a lot has changed lately... Tim left me after he went to texas.. I am almost 3 months along. Live with my mom in a camper.. Hoping that i can give my son a christmas this year. Is talking to a really great guy from my town that is from missouri.. Need i say more about the hot 28 yr old dad.